Preparing.......

I have been told that time would help heal old wounds. As we grow we are certain to move forward and clear out the bad and replace it with good. Sadly, this is not the case in this story. Time does not purge these wounds. Proof here is that neither does the memory fade. Happier events 20 years ago can be recalled as clearly as they would have taken place 24 hours ago. Even unhappy events share a place amongst the clatter of your present memories. Smell and even touch remind us of that which is good. Or what is bad. A scent of cinnamon and apple, or pine could remind you of joyful Christmas’s long ago. Or you, by putting your hand over a lit candle will teach that such actions equate to pain. Lesson learned; move forward. Life is full of happy memories and bad. Push the bad to the side after you learned from it and try not to repeat it. Some can do it as their lives are usually pretty happy and moving forward is no problem. Negative influences do not exist or are few and far in-between. Success comes easy for them and there are always others around them to change their perspective to the positive... Not all though live in such terms. Problem is when the happy are so entwined with the bad that separating them becomes harder. When you can honestly claim that you had probably one of the best years of your life with someone and you can not separate the good from the evil; what do you do? In a Cathartic attempt you find ways to clear you mind. Provided you have something else to latch onto that was of greater reenforcement to move forward and not backward. Was it my fault??? For a long time I blamed myself saying it was my actions she left, or conceding to ‘it was simply not meant to be’. And after a time you discover there was more going on to wreck it then you could possibly imagine. All those beautiful memories turn to poison when the moment ends. This could not have been so true in this circumstance.